Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
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If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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