Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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