Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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