I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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