I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
