Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
