But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
