yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
