Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
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Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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