Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
