didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
