I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize