I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
