so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
