Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
