you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
