Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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