Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
