planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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