Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
only you would photoshop your dick
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
