Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize