hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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