using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize