I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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