I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
