69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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