i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
