The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
