I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
