On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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