Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
