ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
