Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
