if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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