Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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