ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
