I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
