Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
