the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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