I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
