I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
two words: eviction party
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize