Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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