This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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