Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize