dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
