You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wrigley field is MILF paradise
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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