I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
