it hurts more in the daytime
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize