He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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