the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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