then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
