can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
