he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
