Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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