I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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