they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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