dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
