the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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