Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
