does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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