I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
