you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
