ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
