I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
