whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
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Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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