they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
